Don't Want To Live Without
by LoveforPenandDerek
Summary: Morgan and Garcia. Derek is offered a job in New York.
1. Chapter 1

**Don't Want To Live Without **

**Chapter One**

"Have a seat," Aaron Hotchner said as he motioned toward the couch in his office.

Sitting down Derek Morgan fixed his boss with a raised eyebrow "What's going on?"

"The New York field office has suffered the loss of a unit chief- car accident. I just got off the phone with Strauss. An official request has come down for you to step in as-"

"Hotch-" Derek started to protest.

Aaron held up his hand. "It would be a temporary assignment. Just through the summer. Four months top."

"Listen, to be honest, the month I spent leading our team was the hardest I've ever gone through since I joined the F.B.I."

"Its not easy to have the weight of a whole team firmly on your shoulders but you rose to the occasion. You did an excellent job and I have no doubt you would do the same in New York, should you take this assignment. I don't have to tell you it would look good in your file and, if you turn it down, there might not be many more chances like this offered."

Derek rubbed the back of his head. "Can I have some time to think about it?"

"I need an answer by morning. That team can't function without leadership and no one up there is prepared to take the reins. If you decline then the higher ups need to go to their second choice, as soon as possible."

Derek nodded and stood up. "I don't want to leave our team a man down."

"We will manage."

"If I did this it would only be in order to not close down any paths to advancement in the future. Not cause I want to lead a team again right now. I don't know if that is enough of a reason to go for this."

Aaron stood up. "I can't tell you what to do."

"You'd take it if you were me, wouldn't you?"

"I know one of my greatest faults is that my ambition makes me nearsighted. I wouldn't have to think twice about this. But that's not necessarily a good thing. I do believe you would do us proud if you accepted this though. You can do the job, Morgan. Probably better than most. Just don't let the job became all you have because it will never be enough. Only you know where that line is drawn." Aaron let out a short breath. "Take the night. Let me know first thing in the morning."

Derek walked out of the office and went to his desk to brood over what he had just been told. Though he mused over reasons why he should take it (for the sake of his career) and reasons why he shouldn't (he hated the thought of the team needing him and him not being there) in truth it all came down to one thing that over shadowed everything else: _He had never went four months without seeing Penelope since the day they met._

And he didn't like the idea of doing it now.

XXXXXXXXX

At first when he asked her to dinner she had been thrilled. Her heart raced. It had been a long time since they shared a meal together alone that wasn't in the BAU break room.

Now that she was single again maybe their friendship would get back on track. At least till she found her next boyfriend. If she was being honest with herself though, at this point, she'd take a close friendship with Derek over a smoking hot love life with some other guy.

She missed her Hot Stuff, the way they used to be, something awful. There were times she thought they'd never get back the closeness they had lost while she dated Kevin but maybe this dinner was the start of that.

It was certainly a good sign, she figured, that he had wanted to go out with her tonight.

Derek had asked her over e-mail though and she didn't get to see his face or hear his voice when he poised the question. They agreed to meet at the restaurant. He said he wanted to run home after work and deal with Clooney first. He asked her to get a table and order them some drinks.

The minute he walked in and sat down she knew the night wasn't going to end well. The seriousness of his face made her tense up.

She tried to hide her apprehension in bubbliness, which was second nature to her, "Hey there, Angel Fish, I hope you don't mind that I ordered you a beer. I was hoping you would get tipsy and let me have my way with you tonight. I'm drinking ice tea though so I don't forget a minute of our glorious, mind blowing romp. I don't need to be tipsy to agree to doing all sorts of enjoyable things to your chocolate God body."

He gave her a small smile. "Silly girl, slow that motor mouth down before you cause someone in here to blush." He nodded towards the older ladies, in their eighties, who were eating nearby.

Penelope chuckled. "I'm sure they can see you have a body made for multiple orgasms."

Derek's grin became more real and he picked up the menu to hide behind. He cleared his throat and shifted in his seat. In a teasing tone he said "Stop it and I mean it. Behave yourself or no dessert."

"Are you the dessert?"

"Could be. Behave and you'll find out."

"Oh, I'll be an angel if you're the reward I'll get at the end of the night."

Their waitress came and they ordered. Once she left Derek focused his eyes on Penelope. She could see how something was weighing down his mind. He asked her "How are you doing lately?"

"You see me every day. You know how I'm doing. I'm as brilliant as ever. Why do you ask? Do you think I've been acting distracted since Kevin and I split? If you're worried about me, don't be cause I'm doing better than I have been in a long while."

"Good, good, good." He paused and sighed. "We never really talk about you and Kevin but I want you to know that if you need to talk about it, I'm all ears. I'm here for you. Always. Just one phone call away."

"Or closer."

He raised an eyebrow.

She went on "Like tonight. I'm sure you realize we haven't been out together, just the two of us, in a long time. Remember when you used to drag me to baseball games and I'd make you see sci-fi movies the same day they came out, if we weren't working? You never saw the point of going to the midnight showing but you went anyway. We could do stuff like that again, if you wanted. If you aren't...you know...over that kind of stuff now."

"I'm not over anything, baby girl."

She smiled and let out a breath, in relief. "So we're okay?"

He covered her hand with his. "I'd love to spend more time with the sexiest Goddess walking on this planet but...." He sat back in his chair. "We'll have to put it on hold till after the summer. I was offered a temporary spot as acting unit chief in the New York office. I'd be back by September, if not sooner."

"When did this happen?"

"Today. I have to let them know tomorrow."

"So you haven't decided?"

"If I turn it down, after I turned down the last promotion because I didn't want to relocate to New York, Hotch thinks I'll be passed over for anymore."

"You have to do it then."

Derek rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't have to, baby, and I don't even want to but I guess.....I am gonna anyway. They need me. I can do it and I can be good at doing it. And I'll be back before you know it."

"Don't worry about me. Just because I'm not with Kevin doesn't mean I'm spending all my weekends alone moping. I have a full life. I'll miss you but there's no reason for you to stay here and fuss over your friend, just because I'm suddenly single. My heart isn't broken. The break up was coming for months- ever since last year really. It's a relief to have it over now." Penelope sipped her drink. "Congratulations, Derek. You deserve this."

"Thanks," he said, without any enthusiasm.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

After the briefing the next morning, Hotch announced to the team that Derek was leaving that day to work out of the New York office for the summer. The rest of the team was surprised but offered him their well wishes.

JJ hugged him. "Does Garcia know?"

Derek answered "Yeah, she's cool with it." Then he stepped away from the group. "My flight leaves in two hours so I need to get going. All of you...stay safe and look out for each other."

He left the conference room before he showed any emotion. Though tears pricked the back of his eyes. This was one assignment he was not looking forward to.

With quick steps he made his way to Penelope's bunker, paused to collect himself, and then knocked on her door.

"Enter, my love."

Derek grinned, though it was filled with sadness, and strolled inside. "Time to say good bye to your boy, baby girl."

He heard her sniffle and watched as she wiped away tears. Trying to put on a brave face Penelope stood up and turned around. "Four months will fly by! And we can still talk every day...or every other day or whatever you have time for....and before we know it you'll be back here because this is just temporary and no one will talk you into making this permanent, right?"

"There's no way in hell I'd agree to that." He opened his arms and she walked into a hug. He kissed her forehead. "Mmmm. Tell me how to get by without your gorgeous smile in my life."

"You'll have that- on your computer. I'll pop up so often it will drive you mad."

He chuckled. "Just make sure you watch your language because we don't need to get busted another time."

She chuckled. "I about passed out that day when I told Strauss to talk dirty to me."

"You and me both. And I was sitting next to her. You should have seen her face. I'm sure no one has ever in all her life said that to her before you did."

Penelope moved back a little. She cupped his face. Staring deep into his eyes she said "Don't take crazy risks while you're gone, okay? Just promise me that much. Promise me you'll come home to me again."

His voice was thick with emotion when he said "I promise."

She kissed his cheek and then stepped away from him. "Je t'aime beaucoup, mon cheri."

"I love you very much too, sweetheart." Derek stared at her for a moment and then looked down. "I gotta go. I'm wheels up in two hours and I have to get through security and everything so...good bye, for now, baby."

"Bye, baby."

He headed for the door but stopped and turned around. "If you need me here I can stay. Just say the word."

"Go, my love. I'm fine. Promise." She gave him a smile. "Seriously. Go and be an uber awesome crime fighter and I'll hold down the home front. Clooney and I will do fine together."

"When I get back....all those things you mentioned we could do....we're doing them, you got it?"

She nodded.

Derek said "So it's a date?"

"Sure. As many movies and baseball games and dinners as you can stand. Whatever you want. You know, when it comes to you, I'm very easy."

"You talk a good game but I'd never call trying to winning your heart easy. Still I've never met any woman more worth working hard to get than you, Penelope........and that is not a joke."

With that said Derek left and Penelope let the tears flow down her cheeks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't Want To Live Without**

**Chapter Two**

**Mid-July 2010**

Five weeks down. Eleven more to go.

Derek was getting through his time in New York okay but only because Penelope checked in with him everyday. She would call him or set up video conferencing.

They got into a routine of talking all during their lunch hours, when he wasn't in the field, and also late at night when he was doing paperwork in his office. Her voice would soothe away the aches inside of him and ease the memories of the brutality he saw each day.

He needed those chats with her to keep him sane. But just speaking to her over the phone, or seeing her on a computer screen, was not enough.

Everyday that passed he became more determined to find a way to make her his woman when he went back to Virginia. To really woo her. She loved him as a friend and she was attracted to him. Certainly he had all the reason in the world to hope he could win her heart.

Now he was living on that hope as much as he was living on air, water and food.

He walked into the field office in the middle of the day, with his team trailing behind him, after they had been out on a case. Derek headed straight for his office.

As he approached the door he could look through the glass and see Penelope sitting on the couch in there, reading a magazine. Half thinking his eyes were playing tricks on him he jogged across the bullpen and into the office. "Baby girl."

She looked up and smiled, nervously. "Oh, hey, Hot Stuff! I was hoping you'd get back soon. I could have went back to the hotel but I didn't come all this way to sit in a hotel. I came to see the most gorgeous acting unit chief in the whole world."

"Get over here, girl."

She stood up and walked near him, until his arms wrapped around her, and they shared a long hug.

XXXXXX

Being in his arms felt so right. Penelope had fretted over if she should make this trip but, now that she was here, she had no more doubts. She needed to be near him again.

The last five weeks were harder than she let on to him over the phone. She missed seeing him. It was different than when he was on a case because she always knew he'd be back a lot sooner than four months when he was working at the BAU. The nearly three months Derek had left on this assignment stretched in front of her like a punishment and she needed to find a way to make them bearable.

Visiting him was her solution.

He looked down at her. "Did you think you had to surprise me? Like I wouldn't want you to come see me? I miss you every second, silly girl. I would have tried to free up my schedule if I knew you planned to come up here."

"I always teased you that I would show up here out of the blue and ravish you."

He chuckled. Reaching behind him he pushed close the door. "You tease a lot of things, pretty mama."

"Very true and you love my teasing. But sometimes what I don't say is what you need to hear most....so what I haven't been saying since you left is....it sucks to be back there without you. Hotch gave us some time off at the last minute and there was just one place I wanted be. So voila! One train ride later and I'm in front of the gorgeous dream boat who has had me drooling over his fine body since the day we met."

He swallowed hard. "I'm very happy to have you here. How long can you stay?"

"Just three days."

He nodded and then SA Lena Hernandez knocked on the door. She was in her thirties and very sexy. But on the job she was all professional, for which Derek was glad because he certainly didn't need anyone hitting on him at work. This was not the BAU, where all the women learned pretty quick after Garcia joined that Derek was not going to hook up with any of them. He didn't want that kind of drama in his life. The only person at work he would ever flirt with would be his baby girl.

"Come in," Derek said

SA Hernandez said "Sorry to interrupt, sir, but I wanted to let you know that I just called the hospital and Kellerman is ready to be released. Can I go pick him up?"

"That's fine. Take the rest of the day. Get him home and fed."

"Yes, sir."

"Hernandez, I'd like you to meet Penelope Garcia. Penelope this is one of the members of my team: SA Lena Hernandez."

They exchanged hellos and Lena said "You're the one in all his pictures."

Penelope smiled and looked at his desk. Sure enough there with several photos of her there. One of his mom and sisters, all together, and one of his nephews.

Penelope answered "Guilty as charged."

Hernandez smiled at her as if she knew that Penelope and Derek were sleeping together.

Derek said "Kellerman is waiting. Take off, Hernandez. And, this time, try not to destroy any vehicle that doesn't belong to you. I don't feel like spending anymore hours on the phone explaining how you've crashed another SUV."

"I'll drive the limit and obey all traffic laws," she promised, dutifully, as she left.

Derek closed the door and told Penelope "That will be the day."

"One of your team was injured today?"

Derek rubbed the back of his neck. "Last week. He's on the mend now."

"A bad day, huh?"

"They're all bad when my baby girl is hundreds of miles away."

"Aw, such a sweet talker. I missed you too."

"So what was that you said about a hotel?" He walked behind his desk and sat down. "Forget about it, woman. You're staying with me, hard head, and I don't want to hear another word about it."

She smiled. "Okay."

He grinned widely and then picked up his phone. He said "I'll get you a car service to take you to my place. Order us some dinner. I'll be home around eight, paperwork done or not, cause nothing is making me miss out on having dinner with my baby."

She kept smiling from ear-to-ear as he called for the car and then walked her downstairs. He gave her another long hug before they parted. She had his keys and the code for the alarm so she could get into his place.

XXXXXX

For once Derek was happy to come home to his apartment in NYC. He walked in to find Penelope on the couch, dressed in some jogging pants and a pink t-shirt with her hair in pigtails, playing his game system.

She grinned. "Hey, sweetness, I'm so uber awesome at this that you do not stand a chance of beating me. You shouldn't even bother to try cause you'll just be embarrassed."

He kicked off his shoes, pulled off his tie, and then joined her on the couch. Wrapping one arm around her back he nuzzled her neck.

She kept playing but let out a happy sigh. "Clooney greets me the same way every night when I come home."

Derek tickled her until she dropped the controller. She ended up on her back as he hovered over her on the couch. Looking down, with his hands on either side of her, he said "God, I have missed you, baby girl- very, very much." He gave her a kiss on the forehead and then sat up. "All right. I'm starving. Lets chow down."

She pouted. "Loving up on me is forgotten in favor of food? I see how you are, buddy."

He smirked at her. "I need my strength to properly_ love up on you_."

They ended up eating the take out on his couch and then watching some TV. Derek had his head on Penelope's lap. He fell asleep before the first commercial.

She started to talk to him and then looked down, realizing his was out already. She caressed his head. "Sweet dreams, handsome."

After a few more hours of watching TV she was exhausted so she slipped his head onto the couch, found a sheet to cover him up with, and went to the guest room to sleep.

XXXXXX

Derek woke in the middle of the night. For a moment he thought it was any other night when he crashed on his couch from exhaustion, not even making it to his bedroom because it suddenly seemed too far away to bother, but then he turned his head and saw a ponytail clip on the coffee table.

A grin curved his lips. His baby girl was there.

Groaning, from his aching body that he put through hell at work the day before, he got up and headed to the bathroom, where he showered and changed into some pajama pants. Then he walked to the guest room to check on his girl.

The door was open. He looked in and saw her asleep on the bed. For a long moment he just stared at her. What they had was so complicated but, when it all came down to it, what kept them connected was simple: they loved each other crazy amounts.

Sometimes that love caused them to hurt and sometimes it caused them joy. It had been a romantic kind of love all along, but never a physical one. That was something he hoped would change when he went back to Virginia.

For now he was glad that she missed him enough to come and visit him. He just prayed that meant there was no one else who had a chance at winning his girl's heart now but him.

He headed off to his bedroom with a small grin on his lips.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day was a Friday and Derek had to work. The morning flew by, because he knew he could meet Penelope for lunch, but the afternoon dragged and dragged, all the paperwork getting on his last nerves till it was finally time to head home for the weekend.

Penelope had asked him to have his team go to a bar that night so she could meet them all but Derek told her that would have to wait till her next trip because he wanted to have her all to himself this weekend.

She had teased "_My next trip? You are getting ahead of yourself, aren't you, my love?"_

"_Those last two words, silly girl, are all the proof I need that you will bring your cute behind back up here again before the summer is over_."

She had smiled sweetly at him as her only answer.

He walked into his apartment with a smile on his lips. "Baby, I'm home. Come give your man some love."

When she walked out of the bedroom she had on a sexy green dress that was low cut. Derek whistled.

She came over and did a little turn in front of him. "You approve?"

"Woman, you are making my knees weak."

She kissed his cheek. "Then my plan is working."

Derek asked "Are we going out for dinner then? Did you make reservations? Cause its hard to get a table in this city."

"I thought you didn't want to share me with the world, Hot Stuff?"

"I don't, baby, but if my girl wants to go out then we'll go out."

"We're eating in. I just thought that tonight I might make one of your long held fantasies come true, after dinner that is."

He raised an eyebrow.

She went on "Dancing with me, of course. What did you _think _I meant?"

Penelope chuckled as she walked to the kitchen while Derek stood there smiling.


	3. Chapter 3

**Don't Want To Live Without **

**Chapter Three**

**Mid-July 2010**

After dinner Penelope rose from the table and held a hand out to Derek. Soft jazz music had been playing since he came home.

He studied her with a long, intense gaze, before he took her hand. "What is going through that brilliant mind of yours right now?"

She teased, as they moved into the adjoining living room, and Derek took her in his arms to dance "I thought the woman always asks: Tell me what you're thinking."

He chuckled. "I just want to know how I got so lucky-"

"You haven't gotten lucky yet, Hot Stuff, but the night is young."

He smiled as he soaked in the feeling of having her body close to his as they slowly swayed to the music. "You know, last night, the way you were dressed...."

She furrowed her eyebrows.

His voice dropped. "So damn hot."

She laughed. "You are going through quite the dry spell if you think that." Penelope had been wearing sweats and pink tank top when he came home.

"Coming home to see my baby girl dressed for bed is hot, no two ways around it, and tonight....there are no words for how damn fine you look."

"Why thank you, kind sir. I do aim to please."

They danced for a few moments. Derek moved his mouth so it was brushing her forehead. "Is something....changing between us?"

Penelope tensed up and didn't answer. They kept dancing for another minute. His hand was on her lower back. He started to smooth soothing circles there.

Titling her head she angled her face so she could look into his eyes. "When you left Virginia you said you found me worth working hard to win my heart, right? Did I take that the wrong way?"

"I don't know how you took it. I know how I meant it. Just like I mean it every time I tell you.....how very much I do love you....how much I want you.....how much I need you, baby. I know, in the past, I told you that I'd never settle down but that was just me lying to myself. Having you here feels so right. I want us to grow together. I'd do anything to have a chance to be the man you trust with your heart." He gently kissed her cheek. "Will you take a chance on me, silly girl?"

Penelope answered by adjusting her arms so that they were both wrapped around his lower waist, bringing her body flush with his, and kissing the pulse point in his throat.

Derek felt a sensual shiver ghost down his spine as his body reacted to that. He chuckled softly. "Use that mouth to give me the words I wanna hear."

"Yes!"

"Mmmm. Sounds so good, baby."

When their eyes connected he saw unmistakable lust flaring there. He led her to the couch and they both sat down, angling their bodies toward each other.

Penelope said "After all this time....I can't believe we're actually going to start dating."

"Believe it. I want this so bad, don't you know that by now?"

She gave him a soft smile. "You know I have a hard head."

He chuckled and then the moment grew serious again when he let his fingers stroke up and down her bare arms. His voice was choked with emotion when he answered "I will make you a believer. You're my beautiful angel and all I want is to be worthy of you."

"Just do everything you already promised...when you come home to me....take me on dates and give me time to adjust to this. To believe in this. Dreams don't fall in my lap everyday, or any day, so this is...mind blowing."

He grinned. "Your dress tonight is mind blowing. Did you pack this to seduce me?"

"And if I did? Will I get a spanking, Hot Stuff?"

"More like a thank you for being so damn well prepared."

"That's one thing you know about me: I always come through for you in the crunch."

"Oh, yeah, you do." Derek leaned closer to her, slowly, but his mouth didn't connect to hers. Instead he kissed her jaw line and her throat, he nibbled her ear, and he brushed her hair aside to kiss the back of her neck. Then he worked his way back to her jaw and kissed the same path on the other side of her throat. Her fingers were clutching his back. "God, its good to have my baby girl here with me,"he murmured against her skin.

Penelope kissed Derek in all the places he kissed her, avoiding his lips and then she licked at his earlobe. "I was so wrong. You would cross a crowded room for me, wouldn't you?"

He pulled back and stared deep in her eyes. Derek nodded and then they shared an emotional first kiss that was soft, gentle and sweet. After that he went to pour them some more wine. They sat on the couch talking about everything and nothing at all, letting their hands caress each other in a lazy way- along an arm or leg- for hours.

Since they wanted to go to a museum the next day Derek finally said "We better hit the sack or else we won't get out of here before noon tomorrow."

"And that is a bad thing?"

"I have lots of plans for us and your cute behind is not spending the morning in bed instead."

"How very disappointing, Angel Fish. I thought you had enough stamina for all night long and all morning too. Is there something you're trying to tell me?"

He chuckled and stood up. Then he took her hand and helped her to her feet. "You will get to find out just how much staying power I have one of these nights but tonight ain't your lucky night." He kissed her nose. "Off to bed, silly girl."

"You're always sending me to bed when you need to be taking me to bed."

He smiled at her pouting tone and walked her to the guest room. "Slow your roll, Garcia. I'm not that kind of guy."

She busted out laughing. He pulled her close and gave her a tongue tangling kiss that stifled all her laughing. It grew intense and they ended up pressed against the hallway wall. Derek didn't mean to get lost in that kiss the way he did but he was overcome with how good it felt. Soon they were both breathless and grinding against each other. He eased back "Get in that bedroom right now, gorgeous."

Penelope was flushed. Her eyes shone with happiness. "Yes, Sir Derek! But I am leaving the door unlocked, should you come to your senses and decide you have to have me before dawn."

Once she was inside he leaned against the wall and let out a happy sigh. "Good night, love of my life!"

Sweetly she said back "Good night, my beautiful dream maker."

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

Derek woke up the next morning to Penelope getting on his bed, on her knees and fastening her lips to his throat and then down his chest.

He moaned and grabbed her around the waist, pressing her on her back, as he cried out "You minx! Just what do you think you're doing with that tongue of yours?"

She smiled and chuckled. "I missed you."

His lips joined with hers for an early morning kiss that was more intimate than the ones they shared the night before. The fact that he was wearing just pajama pants and hard as hell made it the most sensual kiss they had so far. He eased away from her and sat up. Penelope scooted behind him and kissed his shoulder. She smiled and teased "So are you planning on sending me home unsatisfied?"

"Behave," he said, through gritted teeth. "You know how tempting you are to me, girl."

Turning his head he caught her lips in a kiss. "Mmmm. I want you more than I've ever wanted anyone...but, too bad, so sad, its not happening right now cause you and me are gonna do this right. That means you get the time you need to believe in us and I get more cold showers."

Penelope's hand eased around his waist and rubbed over his abs. "I've always wanted to get up close and personal with these works of art." Her fingers dipped lower.

Derek tensed and a breath hissed out between his teeth.

She whispered in his ear "Sorry, baby, I can't get you like this and let it go to waste. Put yourself in the hands of your Goddess." Her fingers slid under the band of his pajama pants, as they shared another kiss, and then she whispered "You've been waiting so long for me to show you a good morning and there is no time like the present. Take off those pants."

Derek did as she asked and she pleasured him. Then they cuddled in bed together and fell back to sleep, after sharing a whispered conversation about how good it felt to be in this place they had waited so long to reach.


	4. Chapter 4

**Don't Want To Live Without **

**Chapter Four**

**Mid-July 2010**

Penelope woke to Derek's fingers caressing the side of her face, with a gentle and loving touch that made her nuzzle closer to the heat of his body. She hadn't slept well the night before- turned on as all hell and sexually frustrated in the guest room- and even though it was only Derek that got off earlier, while she got nicely wet and filled with lust over seeing him naked for the first time, she felt tranquil now.

The nap in his arms had done her well.

He whispered "Open those beautiful brown eyes, baby, and give your man some loving."

Opening her eyes the slightest bit, she brought one hand up to cup the back of his head, and led him in for a kiss, as her eyes fluttered close again. When he broke the kiss he said "Time to shower and get dressed. Daylight's wasting, girl."

She groaned and laid her forehead on his shoulder, so she was looking downward at his body, that was halfway covered by a sheet. Her hand started to stroke his chest again, tweaking his nipples. He moaned and rolled onto his back. It was clear how hard he was under the sheet.

Penelope licked and sucked at his chest and murmured "First I have to give my man some loving."

XXXXXXXXX

Derek lay in bed with a grin on his face as Penelope showered. Thinking about the two times she had pleasured him this morning was making him hard all over again, which he knew if she noticed when she came back then her red stained lips would be wrapped around him in no time.

He felt her love and lust in every caress. He had never been better loved than by her- in and out of bed.

He wanted to make slow and sweet love to her. And fast, hard, rough love to her. But he didn't want to do it this weekend because if too much happened too soon she may go home and freak out. Then he wouldn't be there to take away her fears.

Still she was spending one more night in New York this trip and he wondered if his good intentions were about to be thrown out the window.

His own hand slipped under the sheet as he thought about the silk baby doll nightie that Penelope had on when she came into his room earlier. He could see the swell of her breasts and her nipples through it, how heavy and taunt they were at that moment. To show up like that in his room was a sign of trust in him and he knew it.

He felt both honored and horny as hell over that idea.

XXXXXXXXX

They spent the day sight seeing, holding hands and sharing kisses, before going out to dinner together that night. By the time they made it home Penelope's feet were killing her.

She kicked off her strappy sandals at the door and groaned in appreciation of being free of them. "Remind me to never wear those again when we're going to be walking all over this city."

He kissed her neck as he asked her "Aw, does mama need a foot rub?"

Her eyes lit up and she nodded. Derek laughed at her giddy response. He took her hand and led her to the couch.

She asked "For real?"

"For real, baby girl. Now relax and put yourself in my capable hands."

She moaned as he rubbed her feet. A blissful smile curved her lips. "You know I didn't come here to get laid but I wouldn't put up a fight if you tried to have your wicked way with me."

Derek tickled her foot and she squealed. "Patience! You need to pump those brakes, woman."

She giggled and lay back on the couch. After a ten minute foot rub, where his hands snuck up her legs and massaged them too, Derek grabbed the remote and put on the TV. He lay on the couch and motioned for Penelope to lay in front of him. "Come claim your spot, baby girl."

When she was all snuggled in he put his arm around her waist and nuzzled her neck, murmuring "Mmmmm. I could stay like this forever." Soon he had fallen into a peaceful sleep, the kind he only had when she was around.

XXXXXXXXXX

Penelope soaked in the bathtub on Sunday morning, working out the aches from sleeping on the couch all night. After forty five minutes Derek knocked on the door and said "Breakfast is served, doll face. Get that sexy, wet body of yours dry and out here, pronto. Don't keep me waiting, woman, or else you will get punished."

"That threat doesn't work, Hot Stuff, cause I wanna be spanked by you."

"Baby girl, you are so bad! Get your cute behind dressed and I mean now. Don't make me come in after you, woman."

She chuckled softly. While she had lounged in the tub she had plenty of time to think about this weekend. She had come here to see where his head was at after the way he acted when he left Virginia. It was clear then how much it hurt to leave her and how much he wanted more for them. But the five weeks since had made her question if her mind was playing tricks on her.

Sure he sounded happy every time they talked on the phone but that was normal. Penelope never heard Derek happier, over the years, then when they were flirting on the phone. It was as if all his walls fell down. He couldn't be the same in front of her. He would flirt but over the phone he was bold and he never hesitated to pour out his love and lust for her.

Their conversations since he left Virginia were as flirty as ever. But rarely did he allow anything to get deeply emotional. She needed to come to New York, look in his eyes, and know if he missed her as much as she missed him and if he wanted them to finally become more.

Now she couldn't imagine having not made this trip. He had her feeling so good and loved. So cherished. He was hesitant to make love but his every kiss and caress showed her adored her body. He was just a softy, deep down, and wanted it to be really special when they finally made love.

That made Penelope feel like maybe Derek was ready for a long term relationship this time. That thrilled her, because she couldn't even contemplate giving him one up day, but it also made her aware that she had to keep him from putting her on a pedestal that made her untouchable. Too perfect and good for him. She used to fear she was just the opposite in his eyes, but truly that had only been fear and insecurities telling her that, because Derek always saw her as the best, just like he called her.

And the best woman deserved to be treated the best. If he felt like he was failing at that he would push her away. Penelope refused to let that happen.

She got out of the bath and started to dry off, with a sweet smile on her lips, knowing that they still had a long ways to go but that they were going to try and make it where they were going together.

XXXXXXXXXX

Derek carried Penelope's bag through the train station. They stopped in front of the Acela, which she was taking back to Washington DC. He set down her bag and pulled her into his arms.

"Don't go, baby girl," he whined, a teasing tone in his voice.

"Don't tempt me, handsome. I could call Hotch and tell him to find a new tech kitten if you made me the right offer. Like making your apartment a clothing free zone for you at all times."

"There is only one tech kitten good enough for the BAU and I want her there when I get back." He gave her a sweet kiss. "Mmm!" Derek smiled "Get on that train before I throw you over my shoulder and take you home with me."

She smiled. In a throaty tone she flirted "What did I tell you? Threats only work when I don't want you to do it, not when I do."

His eyes were soft with love as he watched her pick up her luggage and get on the train. She took a window seat and looked at Derek, blowing him a kiss.

He mouthed. "I love you, silly girl."

She made the symbol, in sign language, for I love you, which made him smile widely. Soon the train was pulling away, as tears pricked her eyes, and she lost sight of her best friend.

Her cell rang. She swiped at her tears and answered "Miss me, huh?"

"When are you coming back to see me again, beautiful?"

"As soon as we get more time off, if that's what you want."

"Woman, don't play with me. You know how much I want you."

She smiled and flirted "I need to be convinced. Talk dirty to me."

The man sitting next to her jerked to a very tense position as his head whipped over to look at her. Penelope giggled into the phone.

Derek said "Hush! You're gonna give some poor sucker a heart attack on that train. Behave!"

She laughed.


	5. Chapter 5

**Don't Want To Live Without**

**Chapter Five**

**Early August 2010**

Penelope was riding in the back of a cab, with a phone pressed to her ear, talking to Derek as she got closer and closer to the Federal building where he worked. She told him the street she had just passed and then laughed at his response "Well I'm sorry but this taxi doesn't have lights and sirens, baby! He's doing the best he can."

They kept joking and laughing until she was outside of the building, where he was standing on the crowded sidewalk waiting for her. She got out of the cab and the driver opened the trunk to get her luggage. Before she could even make it a step through Derek had his lips on hers. A few desperate kisses later and him murmuring how he loved her and missed her and "Damn, woman, you smell so good," and then he wrapped his arm around her waist and walked to the back of the cab.

Derek gave the cabbie the fare and a tip before grabbing the suitcase. He had to let go of Penelope when he was then loaded down with two more bags. "Baby girl! You are not moving here so why did you pack half your wardrobe?"

"I have to look good for my Hot Stuff."

His teasing eyes locked on hers. "Less is more, woman."

The cabbie chuckled and left. Derek and Penelope walked inside the building and up to his office. Today they were taking his team out to lunch.

XXXXXX

A few hours later they made it back to the office again. Penelope looked through the glass at the team that was finding their seats.

There was Alec Kellerman, a tall man with a football players build who had a shock of blonde hair and penetrating blue eyes. A real all American with a gruff sense of humor. A man's man.

Garcia pegged him for a softy underneath.

Especially with the way he looked at his co-worker SA Lena Hernandez. She was a little older than him but still in her twenties with enough sex appeal to stop traffic. She also seemed like a tomboy and very reckless. Penelope knew from Derek's stories that he had his hands full with her.

Rounding out the team was Frank Carson, who was in his forties and had joined the bureau after twenty years in the marines, Damon Hawkins, a black guy in his thirties who was their tech support, and Marissa Reynolds, a red head in her late twenties who seemed to have ambition to spare but very little people skills. According to Derek she kicked down doors like nobody's business though.

At lunch the team made Penelope feel welcome, even Marissa who wasn't rude so much as just quiet if she wasn't dealing with an unsub, and when they got back Penelope said "They seem like a good bunch. Who will lead them when the BAU gets you back?"

"At the end of the month an agent is transferring in from Chicago and I'll have to train her to be the unit chief. She was ready for the promotion but on maternity leave when they needed someone here."

"It would be rough to figure out child care in a brand new city with this type of job."

"I already spoke to her on the phone. She's not married but her mother is moving with her to care for the baby. She also has a ten year old and I guess that's how they've always worked it."

"She's lucky to have the help. Just like JJ is lucky to have Will be a full time Daddy."

"Is that a wistful look I see in your eyes?" he teased "Are you dreaming about having my baby?"

She smiled and pulled her eyes away from staring at his team. "Do you know how many foot rubs you would have to give me if you knocked me up? You better think hard, Hot Stuff, before you get in over your head."

He smiled. "Mmmm. I bet my baby girl would look so good carrying my baby."

Penelope blushed. "You plan on doing something this weekend to make that happen?"

"Pump those brakes, you sexy thing! I'm starting to think you only love me for my hunk of burning love body."

She busted out laughing.

XXXXXXXXX

Derek and Penelope were in the middle of watching a Broadway show when his phone vibrated. He looked at it and saw that it was work. He handed Penelope his apartment key and whispered in her ear "Sorry, baby girl, duty calls."

They shared a short kiss and then he left. It was the next afternoon before he got home. She wasn't there and for a moment panic set in. He thought of every horrible thing that could have happened to her and cursed himself for not checking in on her more in the ten hours they had been apart. He had called her phone once but just got the voicemail and figured she was sleeping.

Walking around his apartment he looked for signs that she made it home safe the night before. Her bed was made now so that didn't help any. But he found the high heels she wore the night laying on the floor of the guest room. After that his heart relaxed a bit. Then he made his way through the apartment to see if she left a note.

He found it on the fridge. She had went shopping.

Derek let out a relieved sigh and headed for the bathroom, pulling off his shirt as he went. Once he had the shower running he called her.

She answered with "Penelope Garcia, future baby mama of one gorgeous chocolate God of thunder, what can I do you for...or should that be when can I do you?"

He chuckled. "Just calling to say my case wrapped up and I'm back home. What do you wanna do for dinner?"

"Do you have any favorite spots in your neighborhood?"

"There's a Chinese place that's pretty excellent."

"Lets do that then, baby. Make the reservation."

"It isn't that kind of place. If you want fancy I'm sure we could figure something out though. Are you out buying a sexy dress to make your man drool?"

"You shall see when I return, my love. Till then you'll just have to let your imagination run wild." She paused and then said "And, for the record, I don't need fancy. I just need you."

"You do know, Garcia, that I'm already nuts about you, right?" He teased. "So you can quit thinking up perfect lines to make me yours. You can't make me love you more cause I'm at 100 percent already."

"Aww, handsome, you do make my heart sing. But I'm in the middle of a shoe sale and elbows are about to be thrown so later for you. I love you but I need these shoes."

She hung up. Derek looked at the phone and started laughing.

_(All that I'm after_

_is a life full of laughter._

_-_

_Without you,_

_God knows what I'd do, yeah._

_-_

_All that I'm after is a life full of laughter_

_as long as I'm laughing with you._

_-_

_And all that still matters is love ever after_

_After the life we've been_

_through_

_-_

_Cause I know there's no life after you) (Chris Daughtry)_


	6. Chapter 6

**Don't Want To Live Without **

**Chapter Six**

**Early September 2010**

Derek walked into the BAU on his first morning back and took a long look around. A grin curved his lips. It was good to be home again.

He looked forward to seeing the whole team but most of all he looked forward to seeing Penelope. The team had been working late the night before and she hadn't been able to pick him up at the airport.

After six weeks apart he was aching to hold her in his arms again. He swore to himself the next time they got away from this building he was getting her in bed. He had wanted to wait and woo her, when he was in New York, but he didn't realize that she wouldn't be able to visit him again for the rest of the summer. Too many cases kept her in Virginia and kept them both very frustrated and horny.

Now that he was home that was all about to change. Well after his shift that is. He knew he needed to get his mind off sex but he also knew the moment he saw her it would go right back there again. One thing he had learned during the last few weeks was just how good his sweetheart was at phone sex.

He wanted the real thing now though. Needed it. Needed to be inside of his baby girl and make her feel all his love for her. Make sure she knew it was more than words, it was everything he had to offer. His body, soul, dreams, past and future.

He would put all of him in her hands because he knew she would always take good care of him.

Morgan walked up to Reid, who was engrossed in a newspaper, and ruffled his hair. Reid jerked but smiled when he saw him. "Hey! You're back."

"Yep, looks that way. You catch on quick. You should become a profiler, kid."

"So what are you doing just standing here?"

"Somewhere else I should be? Is this not my desk anymore?"

"Don't you want to go see Garcia?"

Derek grinned at him. "You're reading my mind. Is she in already?"

"I haven't seen her but I haven't really been looking either. I was reading the most intriguing article about-"

Just then Emily walked into work and greeted Derek.

"Hey!" she cried "The big time unit chief has returned."She smiled and came over to give him a hug. "Garcia will finally get back to her normal self now. Thank you, God! She was all right at first but the last few weeks she's been cranky as hell. You were definitely missed."

"Thanks, Prentiss."

"By _her_ not me...kidding. We all missed you." Emily went to her own desk and pulled out the chair. "Welcome home, Morgan."

Derek felt the hairs on his neck raise. He turned to look over his shoulder and saw Penelope walking in. His hands went into his pockets, to try and appear calm and cool, and his eyes darkened as he studied her.

She looked sexy as all get out to his eyes- in her colorful print dress with her wild jewelry. Penelope walked right up to him and fixed him with a sexy look. Her hand smoothed over his shoulder. "Well look what the cat dragged in: a chocolate God of thunder. Christmas came early for me."

"I am never leaving you for four months again. If I suggest it, please, someone smack me."

Emily chuckled. "I volunteer!"

Penelope smiled sweetly. "No one is laying a hand on my Hot Stuff. Come on. I'll let you buy me a coffee."

Derek dutifully followed her to the break room, closed and locked the door and then hugged her. "Mmmm. You feel so good. Damn this place for having so many cameras," he whispered in her ear.

Penelope said, in a pouting tone, "I thought you'd come to my place last night. Clooney barely slept- listening for you all night."

"Sorry, baby girl. But I got in late and I knew you were going to be tired after work. I just went home and crashed." He also hadn't wanted their first night making love to be when they were both exhausted, and just cuddling would have been tossed out the window if he went to her place last night.

"Hmpf. I think I remember someone whining every day and night that he missed his Goddess. But then you get home and you stay away." She slipped out of his arms and went to pour a cup of coffee. "Something don't jive."

He wrapped his arms around her from behind and nuzzled her neck. "I suck, that's all there is to it. You can spank me if you want."

She laughed. "You are so lucky that you're cute and that I can't stay mad at you for nothing."

He moved away from her and leaned on the counter. "Remember how you promised me all those dates when I get back? Well that starts tonight. So put on a hot dress and be ready at eight thirty because you're man is taking you for a night on the town."

She took a sip of her coffee. Her eyes studied him over it, not revealing her emotions. "Sounds like a plan." She turned and left the break room, leaving Derek feeling like they were on shaky ground, even though it was only a few days ago when they were on the phone saying how hot they were for each other and how much they wanted to be together at that very second.

He didn't think she was just mad about the night before. She had worked very late and his plane came in near midnight, while she was still working, so it would have been after two am before they could see each other, and both would have been too tired to give more than a kiss on the cheek before passing out asleep. Derek knew that Penelope was wondering if he was ready to make love to her now, when he hadn't been in New York.

If only she knew how much this all meant to him. How he was longing to give her perfection and fearing he never could- as far as her emotional needs- and also how there was a part of him scared of being so vulnerable, so real, so exposed.

He never had been with a woman he loved like he loved her. There was no woman in his past who compared to Penelope. He felt like he was in all new territory.

But he was ready to go there with her. The six weeks apart, all the phone calls and computer chats, and all the longing had broken down his walls.

He was finally ready. He just prayed he hadn't waited so long that she doubted his love now.

XXXXXXXXX

He rolled onto the side of the bed, as their bodies pulled apart, giving her one last kiss as he did. "Mmm, baby girl," he whispered, his eyes glistening with unshed tears and emotions.

She was flushed and gasping for air. Her hand moved to his chest, over his heart, and felt how it was beating out of control. Derek kissed her forehead.

He said "Sorry we missed dinner."

She lay on her back and grinned. "I'm not."

Derek had come over to take her out for their date but one kiss led to two and then her dress fell off and they were kissing, caressing, and frantically moving to her bed.

Looking at her now he was amazed by how his heart was so full. How she looked more beautiful than ever. How badly he wanted to ask her to marry him. How he could easily see them together in sixty five years. How he wanted to live to be a hundred just so he could live it all with her.

Love- the powerful emotion that he had never trusted- amazed him. Penelope amazed him. How real love was amazed him.

He leaned over and kissed her. "Silly girl, you make my world go round."

She then gave him a kiss where her tongue swept through his mouth and her arms wrapped around him. "Well then you better never let me get away, don't you think, my love? A Goddess only comes around once in a man's life."

He nipped at her ear and breathed out the words "You're never getting away. I'll never ask for my heart back. You stole it, baby girl. You little thief."

She chuckled huskily. "You better spank me then!"

THE END


End file.
